A good person produces good things from the treasury of a good heart, and an evil person produces evil things from the treasury of an evil heart. What you say flows from what is in your heart. ~ Luke 6:45, NLT
A friend approached me the other day, all worked up and poured out and bone tired over a family situation. After relaying the details, her final conclusion was this: “I believe they don’t like me and are forcing me out in their own way. I just know it.”
I sighed and wanted to cry. I am never sure what to say to the hurting who are only hurting themselves; patience and listening are all I have for them. I find myself engaged in these sorts of conversations with my girls all to often – conversations where the final thought is that they just “know” how so-and-so feels or thinks or talks about them. In the end, their assumptions are what brought them to this place of “knowing.” The truth is, they do not know. Not for sure. They assume and they get their feelings hurt and they retaliate for a wrong that was never actually committed and relationships get destroyed. All because a possibility turned into a certainty in a hurting woman’s heart.
That is the worst part. This often happens because someone is already hurting and assumes that everyone is out to hurt her more. I have been there. It is the worst kind of self-fashioned prison. The very worst, all built of lies and shame that are not of the Lord AT ALL.
My darling sister, I encourage you to check your heart before you assume a wrong from someone. People can be cruel and harsh and unkind, yes. We all have that potential and we have all, at some point or another, acted on it. But check your assumptions. Really consider the situation and the facts and what actually has happened (instead of what you think has happened) before you fly off the handle into anger and hurt and retribution. Talk to the person with whom you are struggling. Or, if you cannot do that just yet, run the entire situation by a wise and unbiased third party and do so in the mindset that you are fact-finding, not side-seeking. Pray. Check your heart. Your lips that are spewing forth your hurt at the hands of another are really spewing forth hurt that was already there and you end up only hurting yourself more. Oh how the Lord wants to remove those scabbed wounds and whisper away those lies. You are loved, my darling. Deeply deeply loved. And you are free. Be blessed and live lightly and rest in the arms of the One who loves and saves.