I remember the first time I met her. It was late at night and she had just driven from the airport to visit her son. I had offered up my guest room for her stay and thought nothing of it. But, I knew as soon as she walked in the door that my life was changed forever. She radiated the Spirit of the Lord in a way that I had not been exposed to since I left Venezuela.
She was kind. Direct. Honest. A tiny gorgeous woman with a massive gorgeous heart and piercing dark eyes that looked clear through my skin. It is a little frightening to have your insides recognized and acknowledged. It is freeing, too.
That time in my life was fraught with loneliness and misunderstanding and not knowing what to do about my heart with its multiple fractures and I could just barely KEEP. IT. ALL. TOGETHER. Every day had become an adventure in seeing how much I could take.
And then she was there, seeing it all for what it was and unafraid to call me out. In one of the greater acts of grace I have received in my life, she offered me her friendship in a moment when she should have walked away from me and my rot. I can call her anytime and receive a word or prayer or a listening ear, even if it has been six months since we spoke. And I try, although feeling dreadfully inadequate to do so, to return the favor to her. I don’t think she minds that I often cannot. She just loves me and she doesn’t even have to say it. I love her, too, and am grateful.
This friendship/mentorship/spiritual motherhood relationship has been going for a few years now and my life is all the richer (spiritually, emotionally, mentally, physically) because of her. I am more honest and less afraid these days. I try to serve more, love more, and do more even when it feels like my heart has run out. I try to love the unlovely. To be a victor and not a victim. To pray at random and inopportune times because I am directed to do so. To offer up love and grace when I want to do anything but. To encourage my younger sisters in Christ to live lives of freedom and truth.
I have come to greater understanding of these things because she lives them out in the flesh daily and I have had the privilege to learn from her example. My favorite part is that the Lord made it so and redeemed a whole host of other things in the making. May I continue, as my spiritual mama does, to learn and be used for the kingdom in turn, to love, to be honest, to live boldly and raw. Amen.