Day 1 of 30.

A wise friend recently introduced me to a blog: The Single Woman. After reading (and agreeing with much of what she writes), I have decided to take on her 30-Day Blogging Challenge about singleness. Without further ado:

1. Your response to everyone’s favorite question: “And why are YOU still single?”

Hmmm. I wish this weren’t “everyone’s favorite question”, although it certainly seems to be. It’s rude. It’s intrusive. It doesn’t really have one solid answer that fits everyone. Rarely is it asked with kindness. I wish it was the question no one had the cajones to ask. And yet, people ask away.

Sometimes, I tell them that I am still single because I am a painfully shy perfectionist adventurer with a streak of rebel, and that I’ll only marry the man who can actually catch me and keep up. I tell them that I have certain standards, and I am not seeking perfection (because, let’s face it, perfection is boring), so I see no problem with sticking to my standards and not settling for just okay.

Sometimes, I tell them that I am moving to Europe and living in a drafty Parisian apartment where I can write all day and I’ll take a lover who has to leave after breakfast. But just sometimes.

Sometimes I tell them that I plain don’t know. I love big and huge and wild and with such abandon that even I can’t always handle it all, I love and seek after the Lord, I love to cook for others, I laugh and laugh every day, I love bringing joy to others and seeing them freed from the bondage of bitterness, I want to be a mom one day, I love to be quiet, I choose friends wisely and carefully, I don’t cheat, I take care of myself, I am honest to a fault, and whomever I love, I love for real and as fully as I can. And I tell them that even with those traits – things I see as healthy and good, things that the Church has taught me are admirable as a mate – men still do not notice me and I don’t know why.

The truth is, I don’t have an answer. Not a good one, not one that has settled deep in my soul as a truth. I just don’t know why. And sometimes I just plain don’t care. Sometimes I want to see life ebb and flow as it has always done, and walk the path the Lord lays out before me, with or without my help. I just want to walk it out. And the traveling fellow who chooses to walk alongside me and walk out a path together for the glory of God and the love of others will be the one. ‘Til then.

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