Me and this body.

Me and this body, we’ve seen a lot together.
This body is the only tangible matter that has been with me from the beginning.
It is the only thing that will not leave. Or lie.
This body tells the truth.

This body was never these words: supple. lean. tiny.
Even in all those years of ballet, this body never fit the mold.
It probably never will.
No, this body is these words: powerful. big. full.
I used to hate this body for that. Used to.
But not anymore. No hate for this body. It’s been a few years since then.
I have a lot of love for this body. A lot of respect for this body.

You see, this body knows me. Knows my story.
This body carried me on walks in the Andes, day after day, for months.
This body saw me through three surgeries.
This body has gone swimming in oceans, amidst dangerous things.
This body has held guns and fired well.
This body managed to stay alive through hell and pain and heartache I wish on NO BODY.
This body has rocked others’ babies to sleep.
This body has held hands with those some might deem untouchable.
This body has hurt people.
This body has tempted people.
This body has hugged people, loved people, and walked alongside people.
This body knows how to keep its balance on a sail.
This body has seen hundreds of miles of pavement.
This body knows how to run cattle.
This body lifts weights.
This body has climbed mountains and broken rock with hammers.
This body has sat beside the dying.
This body creaks and aches and bleeds and suffers.
This body has gone farther than her perceived limits.
This body knows no limits.

I’ve tattooed her with memorial stones of our journey together. I had to remember somehow.
We have had our ups and downs.
She is scarred.
She is calloused.
She is lined with the lines of a life lived a bit reckless.
But this body….This body is still here.
This body knows. Only she knows.
Other people might have something to say about this body. We don’t care. Good or bad, we don’t care.
This body knows: all flesh is fleeting.

Me and this body, we’ve seen a lot together.

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