Beginning again.

I’m sitting here at my desk watching the sunrise and drinking my coffee, and all I can think about is how badly I want to write. To write down everything and everyone and every feeling and moment and sight. Putting pen to paper (or fingers to keys in this case) is how I love, how I express, how I think.

I have been pondering lately why I started this wee blog in the first place and if I even want to continue. It began initially as a place to encourage my students through reflection on my life and the lives of those around me. Well, I don’t have students anymore. I have patients. Loads of them. And I am quite certain they will never read my words. So that’s out.

What’s more, I have been so terrible at writing lately. Not in things to write on, but in taking the time to write. Most bloggers I follow write EVERY. SINGLE. DAY. They have carved space to do so. Me, the girl with three jobs and grad school ever weighing on her back, has not carved much space at all. Barely made a dent in the rock, really.

In all of this, I have to consider what remains my heart’s desire. And what I have long desired is to create an online community where women are encouraged to share their journeys and to learn to be okay with where they are, who they are, and who they want to be. I found in my female university students, in my female colleagues, and even in my own incredible tribe, that we women apologize far too often. The vast majority of us give too much, do not set healthy boundaries, and lose ourselves in pursuit of things that were never meant for us anyway, but look good when compared to the measurements of others.

I can’t fix every woman I encounter. I’m not God (thank God for that). But I can encourage and explore and give voice to what lies within a heart. I aim to do just that. And to do it intentionally. Sisters, I love you. I don’t care if you believe what I believe, do what I do, or approve of my life and the way I have carved it out. I’m not looking for your affirmation. I am looking for your story and longing for you to live it well.

So, here’s to you, sisters (and the few brothers that care what I have to say): we are on this journey together and I want to create written space for you to not apologize, but to go forth with boldness and love and vulnerability and be amazing. I’m going to write and I pray you find a little bundle of truth for you in it. And I deeply desire to hear your stories of growth and failure and hard days and good things. I cannot wait to embark on this new adventure with you.

Much love. Always and always, without end. – Dana

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4 thoughts on “Beginning again.

  1. Dana. I’m not sure what to say. I just read backwards through your blog from your most recent post to here. Your words are all so true. Though I don’t ever remember you as having a hard heart as you described in your “ten years” post. I only remember you as kind and fun and full of life with a contagious smile. I hope you continue to write often as I’ll be following along now and your words speak to me as I find myself in a season of discontent. Much love.

    • Oh, Reanna. Thank you for your kind words. You are a lovely soul – I’ve always thought that of you, and even more so as I get to see bits of how you do life with your husband and your sweet munchkins. I will be praying for you in this season, for all that you are experiencing in your heart, and that you will find more than just contentment, but that you will also find joy and pick up some self-discovery and peace along the way. Much love to you.

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